Expectations are often discussed in a way that makes them all seem equal, and I've come to believe that that is so often at the root of relationship problems. We group expectations together and only ask whether or not to have them, and debate that singular question as though the problem with expectations lies only in either having them or not.Read More
He doesn’t like that she works so much and it drives him insane the way she leaves her makeup all over the bathroom. She wishes he wouldn’t spend so much money on clothes and so much time on the web. They both wish their teenaged son were more outgoing and ambitious. He wishes they’d all talk about something other than schedules, lists, and plans and just slow down from time to time.
They also all really love each other.
As we get to know people, we will notice things about them that, according to our own standards and preferences, aren’t ideal. They will likely notice similar things about us, as they critique our ways of being through the lens of their own standards and preferences. What happens next has the power to make or break a relationship.Read More