Do You Need to Be Selfish Sometimes to Practice Self-Love?

What is the relationship between selfishness and self-love?  Are they the same? Do you need to be selfish to be self-loving? I share my perspective in this video. 


Key Points:

  • Self-love is not selfish.
  • Selfishness is about lacking concern for others and being chiefly concerned with yourself. 
  • Self-love is necessary and involves not only tending to your own needs but tending to the needs of others as well. Caring for others is a self-nurturing, self-loving practice. ("There is more happiness is giving...")
  • In order for a family/community to thrive, each member needs to be thriving. As a member of your family/community, your wellbeing impacts the whole.
  • Self-love is about balancing nurture of self, nurture of others, and receiving nurture from others. That last part is rarely discussed but is vital. This is the ideal trifecta of self-love in action.
  • Your wellbeing is as important as everyone else's wellbeing. Not more, not less. 
  • Self-neglect, like selfishness, is harmful to yourself and others.  Self-love is good for you and others.

What are your thoughts? Do you think selfishness to some degree is acceptable or even necessary? How do you define self-love?


To learn more about my complete picture of self-love and what it requires, read about Essential Self-Love and make the commitment!

Hugs, Dara